lavvyan: (Default)
[personal profile] lavvyan
I wish the Sherlock fandom would stop worshipping AVEN as the final authority on asexuality. It's not. Not like that, at least. It's a wonderful resource, especially the forums where you can get an impression of just how many different kinds of asexuality there are, but while having terms to throw around like "nonlibidoist" and "homoromantic" and "grey-a" might make for easier conversations (provided the other person knows what the heck you're talking about), they don't make you an expert on asexuality. Asexuals aren't experts on asexuality - see also "many different kinds" thereof.

Take me: I like to look at pretty people who are dressed in thin garments that trace their bodies intimately; show me those same people naked, and I'm bored. I find guys hot. I find girls hot. I wouldn't want to actually do anything with them. I like to kiss. I like to cuddle. I like orgasms. I don't like porn. I don't like sex. I've had it with a variety of guys. Am I asexual? You'd find people on AVEN who say yes; you'd find people who say no. Who cares? I'm me. Most asexual people have probably never even heard of all the labels they can slap on themselves these days (black ring on the middle finger of the right hand? Bwuh?).

Thing is, whether you chalk it up to hormonal imbalances or think it an awesome new concept, asexuality exists. Asexual people are out there, probably more than you'd expect (don't think for a moment that none of us like to tell jokes that are dirty enough to make you blush). Asexuality is tentatively coming to be accepted as just another orientation that may or may not go different directions. Which leads us straight back to terms like "homoromantic" and "demisexual" and whatnot, and people doing their research on AVEN and maybe not quite getting it, and fannish tropes being celebrated that make me want to puke.

Seriously. If I have to read one more story where Sherlock is magically cured from his asexuality by the awesomeness that is John Watson, I'm going to throw something. Possibly up. It's like an "I've been gay all my life but now that the right woman has come along I can finally enjoy the marvel that is heterosexual sex" scenario. I'm sure people are out there who have had just that kind of experience, but on the whole I find the concept off-putting, demeaning and disrespectful. And I didn't even know we had an ugly flag to celebrate our Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-10-30 09:20 am (UTC)
dodificus: (Default)
From: [personal profile] dodificus
Am I asexual? You'd find people on AVEN who say yes; you'd find people who say no. Who cares? I'm me.

<3 You post about this kind of thing occasionally and each and every time I want to (metaphorically) make out with you.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-10-30 10:16 am (UTC)
seekergeek: (Default)
From: [personal profile] seekergeek
Argh, magical healing cock! *facepalms* No wonder you're peeved. Although I would contend that those folks that checked out AVEN didn't read enough of the forum if they thought for one instant that asexuality was only temporary until a person found their one true love. When I was doing my research there, it was abundantly obvious that the people posting on AVEN (of whatever flavor of asexual they chose to describe) were just as permanently asexual as I am heterosexual.

And now my curiosity has been peaked. I don't remember running across the term 'grey-a' when I was doing my research - care to enlighten me as to what specific flavor of asexual that is? For some reason when I consider the term I keep visualizing a gray-haired grandmotherly type who's ace. *wry grin*

(no subject)

Date: 2010-10-30 12:18 pm (UTC)
kate: Kate Winslet is wryly amused (Default)
From: [personal profile] kate
I love you. ♥

(no subject)

Date: 2010-11-01 07:00 pm (UTC)
seekergeek: (Default)
From: [personal profile] seekergeek
*reads link* Wow, that was...confusing. So basically anyone who isn't sex obsessed and running around boinking like a bunny can qualify as ace? By those standards, I should give up my hetero card. I'm fairly indifferent to the idea of sex most days and I'm married...


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